Isn’t it tough to be hospitable? What is actual biblical hospitality? What does it look like practically and what keeps us from doing it? Friend, there are many obstacles that keep us from being hospitable and I wanted to share the obstacles and how you can overcome them! Trust me, I’ve experienced every obstacle and continue with specific ones right now. You’re not alone, you’re in good company.
I want to talk to you about overcoming obstacles in hospitality. The way I am going to talk with you about these obstacles is that I will list them out, give you small nuggets of wisdom that I’ve personally learned, a few of my own stories, and a sprinkle of practical ideas.
Biblical hospitality
First, what is biblical hospitality? “biblical hospitality is about honoring God and obeying his command to contribute to the needs of the saints.” What a beautiful reminder of what our hospitality is all about, right?
Being hospitable has nothing to do with what we offer or what we present, but all about loving others and meeting their needs. Sure, you can do these things without being a christian, but the motives are clearly different. Christ is our motive for hospitality, worldly hospitality is self-serving and for our own motives.
This is a sidebar and I think this also goes without saying, but we are also commanded in scripture to love our neighbors. So, everything I’m about to mention applies to our neighbors as well.
Obstacle 1: Dirty House
Okay, so with that, let’s talk about our first obstacle, which is a very common one:
“My house is too dirty.”
I know I am guilty of this constantly. Sometimes, I’ll have people in my home and I’ll grab the broomstick and dustpan and start cleaning as they’re talking.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t clean. But maybe you could turn this into a time of fellowship as your sister in Christ starts to do your dishes. But the goal of hospitality is to glorify the Lord and to love our neighbor as ourselves, not to have a home where it looks like no one lives there.
But the goal of hospitality is to glorify the Lord and to love our neighbor as ourselves, not to have a home where it looks like no one lives there. – The Heavenward Home
Sister, we like to be cleaned up and appear as clean. We don’t like others to see our very real and sometimes disgusting messes, but just as Christ, the perfect high priest, came into our lives to cleanse us from our sin, let’s remember this as we’re inviting imperfect people into our imperfect homes.
We must love the fellowship and the person more than our desire for cleanliness. That issue has already been dealt with by Christ on the cross.
Hospitable messy cookies
Last year, I was attending women’s Bible study in the evenings and I usually brought a snack to share. Well, I wanted to bring my grandmother’s chocolate chip cookies and as I was mixing them, I noticed that I had over mixed them and they looked too fluffy. I thought to myself, “They still taste okay, but they won’t look like grandma’s cookies.”
Well, I decided to bring them anyway because the people eating them are more important than my cookie presentation. When I arrived at Bible study, a sweet sister in Christ saw that I brought cookies. As she grabbed two of them she said, “you have no idea how much I needed these cookies.”
Friend! My ugly cookie ministered to this sister in Christ who was having a very tough day. God can and does use our messy homes to minister to others. Give yourself grace. Invite people in anyway. You have no idea how the Lord will use you and your home.
Obstacle 2: Space
Alright, the next obstacle that we have is one I am quite familiar with, which is:
“I don’t have enough space.”
Let me tell you, this is my current situation as there are five of us living in a two bedroom two bathroom apartment. Please be encouraged with this! No matter if your space is big or small, the time and efforts that come from you and your family are valuable to the local church.
No matter if your space is big or small, the time and efforts that come from you and your family are valuable to the local church. – The Heavenward Home
So what I mean is that, even though you can’t host 50 people in your home for Sunday dinner, you can still host the single college student who only has ramen noodles in their refrigerator. The space that God has given you to steward is enough to encourage and minster to those around you.
Small home hospitality
Even though I wasn’t a huge fan at first, having a smaller space required me to be creative with my hospitality. When we first moved here, I wasn’t sure how to be hospitable with such a small space, so one of my prayers became, “Lord, how do you want me to steward this space?” Another prayer you can pray is just asking the Lord to show you a need that you can meet. If you don’t have any solid ideas, you can also visit with other ladies in the church and ask them for ideas.
And honestly, most of our company comprises of small families, singles, and newly married couples. And we love it! Even though we can’t invite larger families over or host a care group in our home, our hospitality is still valuable.
Our hospitality is not about the way we present ourselves or what kind of space we have to offer, it’s always about the other person being loved the way Christ has richly loved us and invited us into his forever home.
“Our hospitality is not about the way we present ourselves or what kind of space we have to offer, it’s always about the other person being loved the way Christ has richly loved us and invited us into his forever home.” – The Heavenward Home
Obstacle 3: Finances
Okay, let’s move on to obstacle number three which is:
“My finances are tight.”
This is a legitimate issue for many of us right now. Some of us, including myself, are saving for houses, cars, paying off debt, trying to stay ahead of inflation, etc. If your finances are tight, then please be encouraged!
You can still be hospitable with no money. You can pray for the sister who has many spiritual needs, you can bring yummy muffins to your neighbor, you can sew a beautiful baby blanket for the pregnancy center, you can give away old baby clothes or your own clothes.
Friend, the list goes on and on. These priceless gestures that you are doing are valuable and hospitable. Trust me when I say that you are bringing much encouragement and care to the body. The Lord sees you doing these works for others and He uses them for His own glory.
Also, friend, it is okay if your hospitality is simple. You don’t have to have a big meal, a big house, a big backyard, or a big paycheck in order to have valuable hospitality. This is another opportunity to be creative, let the Lord stretch you, and meet needs within the church that don’t require money.
Paying off debt
When my husband and I were paying off all of our consumer debt, our finances were the tightest they had ever been. We continued to tithe, but we gave most of our time and resources. When someone needed help with their car, my husband wanted to help solve the problem. If someone needed a babysitter, I wanted to be available. If someone simply needed to bring paper plates and drinks for the lunch fellowship, we did it!
Sister, your tight finances won’t last forever, it is a temporary season, so please don’t let this keep you from loving and serving one another creatively. Remember, let’s ask the Lord for his help and let’s thank him for our tight finances in order for us to grow in our hospitality.
Obstacle 4: Food Restrictions
Alright, let’s move on to our next obstacle:
“I have a food allergy, food intolerance, and/or a special diet?”
Listen friend, this was and still is something I am learning about and sometimes struggle with. We moved to Texas from Louisiana three years ago where we had all the rice, gumbo, bread, and king cake at our disposal. I had absolutely zero recipes in my recipe box for GF, DF, EF, V, etc.
Coming to our new church home in Texas and meeting many who have special diets or food allergies, I wanted to start including more variety in my recipe box. But overall, it really has been a fun challenge to try and fix delicious food for those in the church body, whom I love so dearly.
Start here
Here’s some things you can try if you have zero ideas on where to start with cooking for those with food allergies. You can kindly ask them to bring their own dish to add to the meal you’re making. You can also begin with baking! Buy a box mix that’s gluten free or find a recipe to try from one of the many resources on the google.
Friend, this is honestly what I started doing for Bible studies and care group meetings. I found a store bought cookie brand that I loved. It was DF, GF, and V and I just brought those until I was comfortable enough to try homemade recipes. Something else you could try, if you’re feeling adventurous, is to ask them to bring the ingredients and y’all can make the recipe together. Wouldn’t that be fun fellowship?
Don’t be afraid to try
One thing I do want to mention for this specific obstacle, is please don’t approach it with fear. I know it can seem daunting, especially if the person has an actual allergy and not just an intolerance. Please don’t let that stop you from learning, trying, and growing your knowledge of these ingredients and recipes.
Start small, there’s so much grace y’all. Ask the Lord to help you see this as an opportunity to learn something new and to serve our brothers and sisters in Christ. Then, once you have some recipes you love and are confident in cooking them, add them to your recipe collection.
All food allergy persons
Finally, if you are a person with a food allergy, intolerance, or a special diet, tell people about it! Your church family would love to serve you, have you over, and be with you. Just because you have these specific needs doesn’t mean that you should stay away or just not eat. If you’re more comfortable with a potluck style meal or a BYOS bring your own snack type of fellowship, then please make this suggestion.
This should not keep you from being with the body of believers. Also, please give grace to those who are trying to serve you, they are humbling themselves to provide care and food for you. And finally, please be willing to bring your own food if your dear sister has no knowledge about how to cook for you.
Obstacle 5: Health Issues
Okay ladies, the last obstacle that I want to share with you is the person who says:
“I have health issues.”
There are many types of health issues that can keep someone from being with others.
Let me start by saying, we as a body need to be mindful of those with health issues. We must make sure that we are caring for their needs and meeting them where they are with hospitality.
If this means you go to their home for a visit, drive them to appointments, or bring them a meal. Please know that it is all valuable and beneficial to them.
My health issues
Now, if you are someone with a health issue or you know someone with a health issue, again, please be encouraged! Hospitality is so much more than food, homes, and Sunday morning worship. If you have health issues and you want to be hospitable, please pray for the saints.
I have met people that have sickness, diseases, they’re going blind, they have cancer and cannot join the believers physically. But they have plenty of time to pray. Do not underestimate this as caring and being hospitable. The Lord listens and answers those who call on him.
Another HUGE way you can be hospitable if you have health issues is by listening. I know these answers are simple, but I would consider these the most important pieces to hospitality.
Sure we can physically work, give money, invite people into our homes, but if we aren’t praying for one another and listening to each other’s needs, then our work is useless and selfish. It then becomes about what we are doing and not about serving each other.
Please be encouraged that your prayers and listening ears are valuable to the work of the kingdom. The Lord sees your labors and they are not in vain.
My friend, Mrs. Mary
There is one person who sticks out in my mind and her name is Mrs. Mary. Mrs. Mary has had many issues with her health in the past few years, but yet she continues to bring me personally, so much encouragement.
When I started to get to know Mrs. Mary, I started saying hello to her in the pews before church on Sunday mornings and so often she would ask me about my family and the ways she could pray for us. Sometimes, she simply sits and listens to me complain about how much my house was a complete circus that week.
Even though she can’t bring us a meal, get together once a week for tea, or do any kind of physical work she is still showing great hospitality. She is humbly and joyfully offering what the Lord has given her, which is her prayers and listening ears.
Biblical hospitality wisdom nuggets
Alrighty friend, if you’re still reading this, I have three final reminders for you!
Be hospitable always
First, there will always be a reason for you to not be hospitable with your home, food, time, and money. But instead of dwelling on the things you can’t do or offer, let’s first come to the Lord with open hands and ask him, “Lord, how can I use these resources to love my church family and serve my neighbors?”
Sometimes, we sit in fear because we don’t have much to offer or the things we have to offer aren’t beautiful or even that much.
I am reminded of the widow who put her two small coins in the offering box, in the gospel of Mark, and Jesus told his disciples that she has given more than all those who are contributing to the offering box because she was giving from her poverty everything that she had.
I know it’s sometimes hard to believe, but we can truly give with all joy and thankfulness because Jesus has set us free from our sin and He has blessed us all abundantly to give and be hospitable. Thank you Jesus, right?
No comparing hospitality seasons
Second, do not compare your seasons of hospitality to others. It is very easy for us to look around and see the beautiful calligraphy skills, smell the delicious GF sourdough bread, or watch someone organize a function for 75 people and think to ourselves, “I wish I could do that. Man, everything she does is so beautiful. She makes it look so easy.”
Let’s quickly remind ourselves to rejoice with those who rejoice. Be excited for those with different giftings and remember that we are a body with many members. We are all serving the kingdom in different ways.
The family who has a 2,000 square foot home will host the giant care group. Let’s also remember the single college student in their one bedroom apartment inviting their friend over for coffee and going through a book of the Bible together.
All seasons of hospitality are different. The Lord has put us in our specific seasons for specific reasons. Reach out to ladies in different seasons, the Lord wants us connected and in fellowship. Let’s ask the Lord to keep us from falling into the traps of comparison, envy, and jealousy. We do not want these things to drive a wedge between our fellowship.
There’s always room for grace
And finally, give yourself grace. What I mean by this, is if you have a specific obstacle that you’re struggling with, bring this concern to the feet of Jesus. Please don’t continue to wonder, worry, and start a to-do list. The temptation is to make this into something I need to do or fix.
Friend, please give yourself grace and come to the one who is full of wisdom and knowledge on this very topic. We are women and we love to do, fix, create, and make things happen, but please let this love for hospitality come from an overflow of love for our Savior Jesus Christ.
Thank you for reading and subscribing! Please share and comment, I’d love to hear your thoughts about which obstacle you struggle with the most.
