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Do you teach emotions to your kids? If so, what do you say? How do you point them to Christ in this?
I’ve also had these same questions. I still question what words I can use to help a 2 year old whose emotions are on high or how to point my children to Christ in their anger. This topic wasn’t even on my radar until I started having toddlers, but when I start googling and thinking, I couldn’t find anything about how to point them to Christ. So, I decided to create this blog in hopes that it will encourage you and your family!
It’s still very much a learning process, but we began using a few phrases with them to not only speak to them about emotions, but more importantly, to point them to the Lord. I know that teaching young kids about emotions is a hot topic!
Trust me, it’s everywhere and then some, but let me help you point them to Christ by talking about emotions. But first, let’s define emotions for a second!
EMOTION DEFINITION
The official Webster dictionary describes emotion as:
a conscious mental reaction (such as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body.
Interesting. Did you notice how this is specifically talking about a “mental” reaction and not thinking holistically? Or coming from the heart? Then the reaction supposedly overflows from the mental reaction, this is true, but as Christians, we know it’s so much more than that.
BIBLICAL EMOTIONS
Now, let’s think about this biblically here. We know, as Christians, that when sin entered the world, everything and everyone became broken. This includes our emotions. Our thinking should be that God created our emotions. Emotions are not just a mental state that happens to overflow into our behavior.
It’s much deeper than that. We know that God made our bodies connected to our sin. We are born as sinners and what overflows from the heart, overflows to our actions. Webster isn’t totally wrong, but DEFINITELY not completely right.
Think about this, when our kids are angry, it’s an overflow of their heart, right? They may be jealous of a toy, they may be angry because they feel someone hurt them, or they’re filled with joy because their authority, mommy & daddy, decided to give them a special treat.
I think you get the idea. The point is, is that our emotions are made by God and we must teach our kids about them.
TEACHING EMOTIONS
Let me share with you 4 phrases we use to help teach emotions to our young kids and point them to Christ! P.S. our parenting is not perfect (never will be) and we are constantly praying for wisdom. Please don’t use this as a one size fits all solution. I just want to give some some ideas that you maybe haven’t thought of before.
Alright, time to talk emotions!
“God made our emotions”
I love using this phrase! It’s probably my favorite thing to say to our girls because it points them straight to God. Then, we get them thinking, isn’t God cool? He gives us another way to express ourselves, not only to one another, but also to Him. He not only gives us joy, grief, fear, anger, etc. but he gives us tears, laughter, and words to describe how we feel!
Another fun fact to tell the kids is that Jesus, who is God, has emotions. Pointing them through His life, we can show them when Jesus became angry, sad, and even annoyed. Just make sure to tell them that Jesus handled His emotions perfectly, this way, they can rest knowing that we can’t handle them perfectly, but Jesus did.
“Our emotions don’t give us what we want”
This SO easily makes me think of the way kids try to use emotions to get things. Like when kids are screaming for toys, crying because they want you to play with them, or when they whine because they wanted to do the thing one more time. Emotions are not the main tool God has given us to get what we want or even need. These are hard words for ME to say because it’s so easily applicable to us, right?
Side note: let’s be real, for women, we ALWAYS use our emotions to manipulate and try to get what we want. We don’t necessarily say it out loud, but in our minds and the way we phrase words/questions we use our emotions to try to get what we want. Sometimes, it works. But if it does, it’s not beneficial or helpful for us or the person we’re manipulating.
For my three girls, I know this will be a lesson they’ll continue to hear and learn as they grow into adults. This has already been a tough lesson for my newly 3 year old girl. I say this to her all. the. time. because her emotions naturally run on high, if you know what I mean. It’s a good reminder for us that God has made us to use our words to ask for what we need and want. Using our emotions to try and manipulate people and God will not ultimately work.
“Our emotions don’t control us, we control them”
This always brings me back to the verses in James where it talks about bridling our tongues and I love that idea for teaching emotions.
From Rachel Jankovic’s book, Loving the Little Years, she says,
“We tell our girls that their feelings are like horses-beautiful, spirited horses. But they are the riders…A good rider knows what to do when the horse tries to bolt-you pull on the reins!”
This is especially true for our little girls when they become teenagers. They need to have good practice controlling and praying for self-control over their emotions.
How true is this also for us? Controlling our emotions gives us the opportunity to show how our emotions are to glorify God. Also, letting our emotions run wild doesn’t get us out of obedience to the Lord or our authority. Mic drop.
I have definitely said this to a kid in the midst of a tantrum and thankfully the Lord gave me peace so that this lesson could be learned!
“Emotions are good and helpful”
I don’t know about you, but when I hear the words “emotion” or “emotional” they automatically give me a negative connotation. Culture has really used emotions in all the wrong ways and I hate that. We have to be different and teaching emotions to our kids in a Christ-like manner will prepare them!
Emotions are made by God and we are made in His image.
He created emotions to be used to glorify Him. He uses our tears, our laughter, our fears to bring us closer to Himself. Our emotions are good for us and they’re good for us to show.
Now let me say this: when they are used properly and biblically, then they are good and helpful. If we let our emotions do whatever they want, then they are no longer helpful and no longer glorify the Lord.
Our kids need to know that emotions are good and they can be helpful when we’re expressing ourselves.
Final Monica note: if you are struggling to point your kids to Christ in the midst of tantrums, hard days, and unbridled emotions, PRAY. Pray for yourself and pray with your children. My blog, Teaching Kids to Pray While They’re Young will give you tips and ideas on how to teach this.
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Teaching emotions is a HUGE topic. There’s so much more to say here, but if you have other practical thoughts, tips, or ideas leave them in the comment section!
I can’t wait to hear from you!